This beer peaked in high school.

I’ll make things clear. This beer isn’t awful, it just sucks. It tastes like any Coors or Budweiser, but a tad stronger. That’s all fine and cool, but when you come at Stranger Beers with a name like Who You Callin’ Wussie?, don’t just no-show like that.

I can say a lot of things, but instead, let’s take a look at Arrogant Brewing’s description:

For far too long the tyrannical industrialized beer overlords have disgraced and cheapened the noble heritage of the pilsner with their relentless multi-generational downward drive to commercialized homogenization.

This reads like a 13-year-old book worm is writing a video game script.

Over decades, this once vaulted style has been slowly and methodically gutted, bringing forth a soulless and anemic result, all the while spending billions in advertising to convince the unwitting public that their fizzy yellow end result was beer.

I understand your whole thing is being arrogant, but c’mon. McDonalds commercials don’t blare “All You Need is Love” to convince people they’re lovin’ it. I guess suggesting subtlety to Arrogant Brewing is ironic, but really, it means your brand is fucked.

Well, I will not have it.

lol

We are striking back for true craft by stealing the pilsner back from their evil clutches, and restoring it to its almighty glory.

I never played that Jack Black rock fantasy game, but this must be how its cut scenes sound.

They do it cheaply. We do it right. Choose vapidity, or choose righteousness…but whatever you do, choose wisely.

If choosing a bland beer is your prerogative, please, choose wisely. If Nickelback is your cup o’ tea, by all means. If you’re voting for Donald Trump, be my guest. That’s on you.

Let’s forget this ever happened and move on to Stranger Things. I might have too much of that ‘true craft’ taste left in my mouth because, I don’t know, for a penultimate episode this wasn’t really a banger.

First thought: Damn it, Jean Ralphio. I don’t want to like you anymore. Stop being a dynamic character. But Jean Ralphio’s two friends have to be the worst in a while right? Like if you took one whole Joffrey and split his terribleness into two garbage teenagers.

Also, Dustin is a nice kid and all, but he only helped the argument that he sucks. Sure, he got the instructions for traveling to The Upside Down. But he cock blocked his teacher, so you decide if its worth it. All they really found out is that Barb is dead. So R.I.P., I guess.

• Overall, weakest beer and episode combo. Keep in mind, there’s been high standards. But this ain’t gonna cut it.
• You’re telling me these parents know they have a basement?
• Curious to see how a season 2 can continue.

I’m pumped for the last episode, and the last beer will be my first from famous Stone Brewing. This could be an overwhelming banger. May God have mercy on my blog.