Alright, well. This is happening again.
I heard a lot about Westworld, and to be honest, I wasn’t sure what to expect. I heard about the Wild West, robots, maybe? Anthony Hopkins (now referred to as A-Hops)? In commercials, skeletons keep getting drenched in milk. Wtf man.
Since I did this on a whim, I grabbed an old garbage West Sixth DankeChain out of my fridge. I say garbage because the one I had before tasted like trash. So it was the only one I had prior. Thought I’d give it another try. Great? Not really. It’s no Oktoberfuel. DankeChain is fine, and I’d have another. But when people argue there are too many of these seasonal beers, I’d say this one is on the wrong side of the argument.
I’ve got little to say about DankeChain and everything to say about Westworld. The first episode is… a lot. It has 30 characters, robots living in The Truman Show, weirdos here for ro-bot-mance (more on this later), and oh man. Oh jeez. Oh damn. There is fucking still 28 minutes left.
I could get into plot stuff, but I try to keep my blogs under 25,000 words.
So, my first question: what is up with all the milk? Everyone is pouring milk on the people they shoot in this show. I laughed hard when this maniac shoots, then takes that quick sip. Plus they keep drenching those skeletons in the milk? I have so many questions about the milk.
My second question: obviously A-Hops is important. But how dead is he? He’s dead, right? Or a robot, at least? He isn’t a human, correct? Am I wrong? Here is an excerpt from my notepad while watching one of his first scenes. There is a lot going on here.
A third question: was Westworld made so weird dudes can talk to women? Check out these pickup line zingers. *Drinks milk* “Sweet. Not as sweet as you.” *Stares through woman’s soul* “Your muscles recoil when you’re angry. It’s fascinating.” WHAT. WHAT? Westworld has no game. No pun intended. The robots live each day on a loop with minor improvisations. These idiots get spontaneous for one line and look what happens. These robot ladies deserve better.
My fourth, fifth, and West Sixth question is what the fuck is up with the milk?
- I would like to see the robots get spontaneous when they figure out what’s up.
- Is this even on Earth? Who is real? Is The Silence of the Lambs even a real movie?
- S/o to that woman who said “This isn’t a minor improvisation. This is a major shitstorm.” Thank you. That is the correct answer.